She Walks Alone by Domini
She walks alone. Her mind is unfocused, but that fine; she
doesn’t need to focus on where she’s going. She has walked this path every
Sunday morning for the seven months. The sky is a cloud covered dismal gray and
the cedars and pines all stood out at strange angles. She hardly notices when a
gust of wind sweeps her toque off her head. She turns and retrieves her toque,
putting it back on.
The path goes on, she reaches her destination. She slides her
backpack to the ground and fishes out a blanket to sit on. This place is just
how she remembered it; the lake is as calm as ever, the air smells of her
childhood. This place, she decides, is a place frozen in time.
A wild duck calls to her mate, breaking the defining silence
that she had created in her head. She rummages in her pack and pulls out a
picture of her mother along with a small urn. She places the two on the ground
in front of her. With a sharp intake of breath she lets her mind pull her into
the beloved memories she has of this place. The majority of her childhood was
spent here. This was her mother’s favorite place. This is where she learnt to swim, where her
family went for countless picnics. This was where her mother taught her
everything she knew, this was where she felt at home.
This place that once held so much joy for her, for months
held nothing but sorrow and anger. She couldn’t bear to return to this place
after her mother had passed. She only worked up the courage to go back there
this morning. And now as she sits there, on her blanket staring at the picture
of her mother, she let go of all the sorrow and anger.
She picks up the urn and walks to the edge of the water, she
opens the urn and spreads the ashes into the water. With a small smile she says
“now, you’re home mama”.
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